Eat this and you won’t get sick. And so much even though I work in the emergency department and people come in who have been shot or who are having strokes and heart attacks, so much of what we do, it’s not an acute medical emergency. And and, yes, I also write about it because while she’s struggling to survive, to thrive, to have the life she deserves, people like me were there to help her who aren’t in the midst of that acute struggle. That part of it is wearing thin, though. They aren’t lucky. And I I learned at that time that anything was possible. : Yeah, well, I’m so happy for you. And you know, that being said about access to care, I mean truthfully it’s that’s one of those things I’m increasingly vocal about and I hope I become super famous so I can use this platform because we got to make some changes. Kate Bowler: Hi, I’m Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. Photo courtesy of Penguin Random House. K.B. So, you know, I think if someone doesn’t want to be with me for whatever reason. Lose this weight and you’ll never be lonely. And we were close, I mean, to this day, I think he’s a good guy, but clearly it wasn’t meant to be. : Yeah. How to understand that compassion isn't the same as justice. In her first book, “The Beauty of Breaking,” Harper details what she’s learned about life, death and self-healing as a Black emergency room physician in … It’s not functional, it leads to burnout and so much deep suffering and even kind of a dissociation in order to get through it. We need gentle ways right now to find hope and beauty and love. K.B. Well, I listen to her, I felt it was important to listen to her and I said to her what they did to you was wrong, it was just wrong. And in fact, they’re a supermodel. I didn’t have any information. I think it’s just like part of a hope that we all have is that even now in the midst of this, we can find a strength like that. But I’m here to look into your gorgeous eyes and say, hey, there are some things you can fix and some things you can’t. I don’t feel that the reward at the end of a struggle is that now we have the life of our dreams that we might see in a Disney film. This podcast wouldn’t be possible without the generosity of the Lilly Endowment. Keep this attitude and the money is yours. The Beauty in Breaking. So now you have this piece where the cracks are highlighted by gold or platinum, because the thinking is we’re not going to pretend this this art hasn’t been through something, hasn’t been broken, hasn’t been destroyed. We were going to be in this together just making this storybook life. I mean, right before huge moments in your life, you’ve had to begin again in a new city, in a new job, as a newly single person and like and then remake your life. Is it something we can get through and blow over or is really nothing very dangerous going on right now and I just have to be vigilant? M.H. The Beauty in Breaking is her first book. Literary Series, The School of Life Amsterdam – VIRTUAL APPEARANCE, Training 2021 Conference and Expo – VIRTUAL APPEARANCE. I needed to know I was going into a profession where I could see anyone where I wouldn’t and couldn’t, like I love the fact that it’s mandated, I can’t turn someone away just because they can’t pay like I needed in our system, it’s at least a spiritual privilege, because for me this is a calling. Please continue. I love that. doctor? Would you mind, like, starting at the beginning and telling me a little bit about your childhood and how maybe you were forced to learn that kind of grounding at such a young age? And I think that what I’ve tried to cultivate over time is, is an honesty about how I feel and what I’m going through and really being present with it. You’re like the big temperature taker of society. Michele’s first book, her memoir entitled The Beauty in Breaking, was published earlier this year. He said, you’re on your path and you’re doing well, but I, he didn’t feel he was doing well. And she had a new therapist who was helping her so that she could maintain sobriety and help with her depression, anxiety, PTSD. And one cannot continue to operate like that 24/7. K.B. See retailer for details. Is this immediately life threatening? Dr. Michele Harper has worked as an emergency room physician for more than a decade at various institutions, including as chief resident at Lincoln Hospital in the South Bronx and in the emergency department at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Philadelphia. K.B. You know, I talk about this, my analogy is and I’m sorry I’m going to mispronounce this, but the Japanese art of kintsukuroi where pottery has it’s broken. : Exactly. This is Everything Happens with me, Kate Bowler. : Yeah, unfortunately, yes. When our lives get small, may we grow deep. The Beauty in Breaking is Dr. Harper’s story of breaks and fixes, of healing emotionally and physically. CW: domestic violence, a doctor discusses a patient’s experience of sexual assault and a patient’s suicidal ideation, racial discrimination. It’s a privilege. Michele Harper is a graduate of Harvard University and the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University. M.H. : What’s beautiful about being broken is the possibility of rebuilding better and stronger and more resilient, in a deeper way. And I remember feeling the horror and the terror and knowing that if this person in my home could do this to someone that I loved, cared for, my protector could do this savage, brutal act to him that anything could happen and we weren’t safe and that somehow I had to manage. An emergency room physician explores how a life of service to others taught her how to heal herself. She also discusses the institutional racism within the medical community, and the ways in which poverty and oppression are medical issue within themselves. It is not trite to say that what we have is right here and right now and when our lives have shrunk to the rooms we’re in, may we find the treasure of gratitude here in the now. I wasn’t joking when I write about doing yoga, I do a lot all the time. M.H. But sometimes we meet people who know how to keep their feet under them. Try : That hyper awareness, it sounds like, turned into the ability to like, hyper interpret and live almost at the speed at how quickly things are happening. Ok, so it’s the season of Advent. I used to have my own delusion of living my best life now. I’m a Duke professor, wine and cheese enthusiast, wife and mom. Dr. Michele Harper, THE BEAUTY IN BREAKING. : I totally yeah. They conveniently messed up her paperwork so she couldn’t go and pay her respects to the only support she had in this world. : I really like the kind of existential bravery you’re talking about. A Memoir by Michele Harper. K.B. Michele Harper | Beauty in Breaking. But this is a podcast for when you want to stop feeling guilty that you’re not living your best life now. That little girl skipped out with her father, that family, the family with the man coding, we don’t know if he made it or not, but somehow in that space, they were going to have to find a way through it to find their life forward with or without that family member. Sure, we’re not supposed to have evictions, but real facts on the ground are that we are being evicted and I can’t get into a shelter because of the pandemic. And just to offer that trust, that’s a powerful thing. Emergency Rooms are the theater of life itself. Michele Harper is a female, African American emergency room physician in a profession that is overwhelmingly male and white. And one thing I always try to be a little positive. M.H. K.B. We’re not going to do management of chronic anxiety and depression. So much pain and suffering. Read more about Tara Brach’s idea of radical acceptance and radical honesty, here, In 2017, The Huffington Post wrote this amazing article about why we need more women of color working in medicine. : (Laughter) Totally, no, I didn’t want to sleep. I said, and I don’t often talk about myself, but I just I felt like she needed to hear it. : I love that you’re describing like a sub category of that profession, which creates justice as part of its, like it has to be part of that process. I feel also there has to be a certain I mean, I have to tell you, part of the reason I love doing it is in this country where we don’t have access, equal access to health care. And she just looked at me and I said, is there something else we can do for you today? She’s like, I think I can make it. Look, the world loves us when we are good, better, best. So I’m meeting her at a space in the E.R. Michele, hello. She doesn’t want to hurt herself or anyone else, but she is a is a front line worker working as a clerk in a grocery store. And I think back there’s a moment that one story it could be could be any story, but one where my brother was trying to protect my mother. M.H. And this does come up a lot. An emergency room physician explores how a life of service to others taught her how to heal herself. Yes. Then I was diagnosed with stage four cancer. Dr. Michele Harper, THE BEAUTY IN BREAKING. M.H. And so she looked like a little girl. : Yes. “The Beauty in Breaking” is a journey of a thousand judgment calls, including some lighter moments. to try and do something like at a time when people still can’t get into clinics. Still the night but we need the light and I have an idea for how we can spend this together. : You know, that’s one thing I wanted, I’d read so many different books and books where people are telling their life story and it’s wrapped up with a bow and maybe it’s their journey to health, and at the end of the book, you know, they lost 200 pounds and now they feel beautiful and they’re like. : Thanks for saving people’s lives every day. I was pretty much staying late to help the other doctor who was overburdened and she was fine, so I could have been in and out of there in five minutes. Is it likely not immediately life threatening? I’m right here. How you’re being treated is not fair. I like totally obsessed with this topic because I think we both don’t believe that things are always better, but that things can still really be beautiful. Read an excerpt from chapter 1: With the final DC home, house number three, we had arrived on the “Gold Coast.” And when I did ask her, she revealed that she was raped in the military by not only her colleague, a fellow soldier, but also her supervisor. : Yeah, and the way you describe witness, it’s very similar to um, because I’m in divinity school land where there’s, there is like a big emphasis on like an account of witness, like part of what it means to, like, accept the weight and meaning of suffering as part of that hard work of staying present. If we’re lucky, the bond holds in the moment and the experience of it shines and breathes and expands. Like we need more women and people of color and different backgrounds, different socioeconomic statuses and disabilities, because the patients we see need that. Tags: Michele Harper interviews The Daily Show interview The Daily Social Distancing Show coronavirus health epidemics books Doctors New Jersey the South health care work/office Poverty Mental Health Prison For ER Dr. Michele Harper, work has become a calling—to bear witness to people’s problems both large and small, to advocate for better care, to catch those who fall through society’s cracks, to stand up against discrimination, to remind patients that the pain they have endured is not fair… it was never supposed to be this way. And underemployment, the fact that people don’t have health insurance during a pandemic, blows my mind like I the people, you know, so many patients I see now, I’m seeing people coming in because they’re having panic attacks, because they’re depressed, because like this middle aged woman said, well, I lost my job, I can’t find a job, I was kicked out of my housing because I can’t pay my bills. K.B. How to let go of fear even when the future is murky: How to … Dr. Harper is one of the mere 2% of Black women doctors working in America — and she’s on the front lines, as an Emergency Room doctor. How to let go of fear even when the future is murky. Yes. And I want to ask you all about your story in a minute. It’s worth it’s worth more. Lose this weight and you’ll never be lonely. Then I was diagnosed with stage four cancer. But like the way you’re describing it, it sounds like these spaces can sort of just be like the theater of life itself, like everything. Life is a chronic condition. We are. And for me, the reward is to find inner peace. M.H. K.B. So it makes me wonder, other than a complete badass, like what kind of person do you think it takes to be an E.R. She’s a graduate of Harvard University and the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University, and she just released her first memoir, The Beauty in Breaking. : Yeah, that is so powerful when someone in the role like say you’re not, you know, like you’re not playing the role of friend, you’re playing the role of trusted medical professional. But but also existentially being yourself. And now look at it, for the cracks. There is no normal, there is no pretending that life is staying on course. : You’re right. : And that’s, that’s one thing that that I realize even when I got divorced and I knew that and I really grieve that. No, it has been. Dr. Michele Harper discusses her memoir "The Beauty in Breaking" and the extreme stress that health care workers are experiencing due to the COVID-19 crisis. So I said, I face rude people also and discrimination and it’s not fair. “ The Beauty in Breaking is a compelling page-turner about how Dr. Michele Harper took a broken childhood and wove herself into a strong, honest, compassionate doctor. And now I get it. I want to know that the system will allow me to take care of anyone and to the best of my ability. Hi, I’m Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. Apple Spotify Castbox Google Play RSS. Everyone deserves to be treated fairly, equities. : Yeah, and, you know, it’s a it’s a process, of course, because that was a survival strategy when I was young. The Beauty in Breaking; Written By: Michele Harper. And I, it is heartbreaking because there’s so little like in that in that instance, I mean, I can make sure she’s medically OK, I can try and give her resources. And um what I grieve the most and what I knew, like I knew he could go. Believe with your whole heart and God will provide. It was about the reality of her day-to-day life as an ER doc during the early days of the pandemic. M.H. Each of the patients Harper writes about taught her something important about recuperation and recovery. And I remember she said that it felt good to speak because she had never told the whole story to anyone like that. … And so often they are women and people of color. : Well, that’s one of the things that I feel that this pandemic has laid bare. And now with the pandemic, the few people she could speak to, she can’t even, she has increased isolation, so of course, I did my screening and of course, you know, I made sure that she had a safe place to live and go. Like everybody deserves health care, everybody deserves a living wage. So he couldn’t be with me if I was successful and he wasn’t. Where you’re like, oh, we can tell the truth about this. K.B. Should be there to not only bear witness, but to amplify the story and be part of accountability because we, I feel I have to change the system so this doesn’t happen to other people. Each one leads the author to a deeper understanding of herself and the reader to a … In this episode, Kate and Michele talk about the importance of radical honesty when it comes to advocacy as well as the racial and socio-economic disparities that keep people disproportionately affected by the pandemic… and the anxiety and stress that follows. How to tell the truth when it's simpler to overlook it. Dr. Michele Harper is an emergency room physician and the author of The Beauty in Breaking, a memoir of service, transformation, and self-healing. It’s a treasure. So those were skills that I developed early. And I remember I was a young teenager and I remember looking at his hand and it looked like he had been bit by an animal. Read more about Tara Brach’s idea of radical acceptance and radical honesty, here. And she said, like I talked to you and I, I feel, I feel better. And then now when I look back on my childhood growing up in an abusive household where my father was a batterer. We are living through a season of intense and prolonged uncertainty and fear and unknowing. K.B. I totally agree. K.B. M.H. Unabridged Download-9780593211618 - Apple Books; Audible; Audiobooks.com; Google Play; Libro.fm *Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price. And so when I saw, getting a glimpse that there are these spaces of potential and hope, I knew that I wanted to be that for other people, that I wanted to be some kind of support for them. A little bit of gratitude for this gorgeous, fragile life. But there’s like there’s such a sense of grounding people get in your account, like your feet are right under you and it allows you to give incredible gifts. M.H. How to understand that compassion isn’t the same as justice. You can find The Beauty in Breaking, here. The New York Time‘s 100 Notable Books of 2020. 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